die

January 4, 2009

hi, i need attention. you probably know me. i’m the guy with the red, yellow or white hat. it’s on backwards, as are my huge white oakley sunglasses. i’m an asshole. you might also know me as a dickhead or douchebag. i’m the guy who drives the GIANT truck with the dirt-bikes in the back. yeah, now you remember. i’m that guy. the guy with the tapout shirt. if you ask me, i’ll probably tell you i’m training to be in the ufc, but i’m not. my head is too big for my body. i used to be a fatass when i was a kid, but now i’m just kinda fat with lame, unoriginal tattoos. i like pit bulls only. also, i usually know this guy who can do anything better than you or anyone you know. anyway, next time i see you walking and i’m in my gay-ass truck, i’ll be sure to rev the engine when i pass you. you’ll know it’s me because of the tapout, fox, norcal or calvin-pissing-on-a-truck-logo sticker in the back. and maybe, if my friends are with me, i’ll call you a faggot and try to peel out. really though, this douchebag image wasn’t my idea. it’s just that everyone else is doing it and i’m somewhat of a massive tool. budweiser-4-life. i have a small dick.

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